Vicious Scorpion Joins APG Team

No, that's not someone's nickname. Apocalypse is happy to announce the newest member of our team, 'Dennis' the scorpion.

Dennis has an extensive background in customer serice as well as ridiculous IT skillz. So if you have any problems just talk to Dennis, though don't get too close as he is rather ferocious.

Dennis can be found behind the front desk between the doritos and the printer 24/7; that's dedication! The rest of the APG employees best be taking note.

If he starts cleaning floors, I might need to kill him out of sheer fear for my job.
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED, INSECT!

Our summer intern has made his leave. We send him the best of wishes as he gives tech support and loving, painful cuddles in his new Junior high School classroom home.

Who's next?
We think a microwave, maybe. We're going over credentials right now.

MIKE IS IN TOWN FUCKERS!!! man i had this stir fry and it was cold and kinda tasty and then mike was all like "hey u want me to pass non-ionizing microwave radiation (at a frequency near 2.45 GHz) through that food, causing dielectric heating by absorption of energy in the water, fats and sugar contained in the food? and i was like "HELL YEA I DO"...needless to say the food tasted slightly better than before! mike the mikrowave for the win